My Walk with God: Forgiveness

I'm really sad right now. This morning, my parents yelled at me for a very long time. It didn't make things any better that my mom went to go talk to my dad about it. They aren't very happy with me. They don't trust me at all, and they think I go out way too much. Then, after my mom discussed this with my dad, he blew up at her, and at me. Now, I'm not allowed to drive anymore. Only once a week. which is pretty much not driving anymore. It's just so stressful and depressing that I got my driving privileges taken way when I haven't done anything wrong. That's not even the whole problem. My dad, well, it just feels like we don't have a really good father-daughter relationship. It seems like he doesn't really love me as much as my two younger brothers. I am his least favorite. He constantly yells at me, and gets angry at me whether or not it is my fault. I do have to admit; most of the time it is my fault, but sometimes it isn't. And when it isn't, he holds this assumption that it is. I don't know, it just makes me really upset sometimes. I am not as loved as the others. But the thing is, it's not even entirely his fault. Most of the time it is my fault too. I always ask for too much, and I never appreciate what I have.

For example, this entire scenario wouldn't have happened if I didn't want more, as in want to drive to BOTH gym AND russo's. At first my mom let me choose just one place to go. But I had to open my stupid big mouth, and keep begging for more. Therefore, it caused her to talk to my dad about it. He got really angry, and screamed at me, saying I always want to go out. Then compromised that I can only drive once a week. I feel really bad. I shouldn't have been so greedy. Oh Lord, I just need your forgiveness for always yelling and arguing back. It's just been so hard for me. Just forgive me Lord Jesus. I really need You.

But even with this whole situation happening to me, I still have to remember to,

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice." Philippians 4:4

Stop being mean, bad-tempered, and angry. Quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving you because you belong to Christ.

Ephesians 4: 31-32

Oh Lord Jesus. Just because my dad doesn't have Christ doesn't mean I should be like him too.

"Become therefore imitators of God, as beloved children;" Ephesians 5:1

The footnote for this verse says, "What a GLORIOUS fact that since we are HIs beloved children we can be imitators of God! as the children of God, we have His life and nature. We imitate Him, not by our natural life, but by His divine life. it is by our FATHER's DIVINE LIFE that we, His children, can be perfect as He is." Indeed it is glorious! Christ forgave us for all our sins, and not only forgave but forget.

Forgive me Lord. I shouldn't have been angry with him, instead, I need to forgive him. If You can forgive us after all the sins we have committed, I need to be able to. But, I'm not able to do this by myself. I need You Lord.

"I can do all things in Him who empowers me." Philippians 4:13

Praise the Lord for His Loving Nature and ability to forgive and forget about all our sins. I just need Christ to be my Strength and empowerment in order to forgive my dad, and not hold it in my heart. But really, the thing is: I just need God.

My Walk with God: Stress.

Just now, I just experienced an extremely stressful situation. It's been so difficult to go through.

I just feel I have way too many expectations for people, that are extremely unnecessary. I ask God for forgiveness from all these expectations I have from others. Because really, everything else WILL disappoint us eventually. No matter what it is. This time, for me, it was because of a friend. I expected from this person to eventually become my best friend later on, and pressured him. However, after doing this, I immediately felt so much guilt. I repented to God, and felt so much peace afterwards.

Anyways, we just need to trust in God in everything He plans for our lives. We cannot rely on ourselves or others anymore. Everything WILL disappoint us. The only thing that won't upset us is Christ Himself. That's all we need. Just God.

Even though the problem may still exist, God is there to guide us through the pains, the sorrows, the stress, and our unhappiness. He's the only one we can rely on.

Verses

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

It's absolutely correct! he will NEVER fail us or forsake us. We don't need to worry anymore. We just need to trust 100% in Him!

The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. (Psalm 9:9-10)

You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. (Psalm 32:7-8)

Praise the Lord! He has given us a place to stay: IN HIM!

It's absolutely wonderful the feeling I have right now. To be in the Spirit, turning to our God. So marvelous!

Currently, I'm listening to "What made you die for me?" by Living Stream Ministry.

What made you die for me?

I was your enemy.

You became a curse for me.

Oh, what a mystery.

My God, you died for me.

You died for me, your enemy.

We were his enemy, but now we can finally be in Him! Praise the Lord!

My Walk with God: Satisfaction.

Satisfaction: noun,

the contentment one feels when one has fulfilled a desire, need, or expectation.

Today, many consider money, fame, power, and other materialistic objects as things that satisfy us. We constantly search and search for the one thing that gives us content. However, these things really, have no worth. They might give us temporary happiness, but they really do not fill us up. The only thing that can actually satisfy us is Christ Himself.

My Daily Testimony:

Basically, today was just a normal, regular day. I went to summer school for an hour class, waited for my mom to pick me up, and went to costco and came home. I sat around, looking for something to do. Then, with my new privileges (I can finally drive now!), I drove to Kohl's and Target, hoping to entertain myself. However, shopping was quite dull. I wasn't into it, whatsoever. I just felt so unhappy. I thought to myself, "maybe if I bought something? Then maybe I can be happy." However, after trying on about 20 clothes, and finding only two appealing, I considered buying it. But I don't know, there was just something in my heart that was telling me not to buy it. God. He told me it wasn't necessary, and I should just head home. I came home emptyhanded, and still wasn't satisfied with my monotonous day. My next best option: Watching tv. I turn it on, then lay on the couch for a good 3 hours, hoping to feel something, like a happiness of some sort. There was none, whatsoever. I didn't feel anything. Just more stress and unhappiness, and burdened for something to do. Exhausted, I went to my computer and started to talk to friends, but yet this emptiness still existed there.

but HALLELUJAH! After longing for hours, I was finally filled up with Christ Jesus! He satisfied me completely, and filled the hole in my heart.