The Lord is my shepherd forever

As I go on living everyday, I am realizing more and more the Lord is my shepherd forever. Although everything outwardly is breaking and decaying, yet my inner man is being renewed day by day. The Lord shepherds me everyday with himself and leads me by waters of rest. Although this past year has been a dealing of itself - so many ups and downs, but through these situations the Lord has become my portion forever. He is so real and so rich for me to enjoy. Now that the guy has left and I moved out of my old place, it just feels like a new beginning. A new start and deeper experiences of Christ. He is leading me and shepherding me all the days of my life. I'm realizing that everything that the Lord take away from me, He replaces it with Himself. He continually is waiting for me to come to Him to allow Him into my mind, emotion and will. I just can't help but to surrender to Him. I don't want to argue anymore. No matter what happens in my future, whether I end up with the guy, whether he actually commits to me through words or not, whether I stay in Pittsburgh after a year or not, my eyes have been opened to see that surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. 

After the guy left I just feel I miss him so much. But I know that the Lord is faithful and will deal with him and gain him for His purpose. So this time away is just for him to gain the Lord. I amen to the Lord and His will no matter how much I'm suffering outwardly. I just miss him so much. But I know that whatever will happen in the future that it's always good. Because in every situation it's always just Christ being added into my being. Christ himself becomes my portion my love and my everything. He shepherds me with himself and leads me besides waters of rest. I'm resting in Him because I know that whatever I go through He is using all of it to gain my being for His heart's desire. 

Therefore I endure all things for the sake of the chosen ones, that they themselves also may obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory. Faithful is the word: for if we died with Him we will also live with Him; if we endure, we will also reign with Him; if we deny Him, He also will deny us; if we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself. 2 Tim 2:10-13

 I believe in God and His promises. What He has spoken He will do. He will release what needs to be released for His kingdom and purpose. If God wants this relationship, He will continue to open no matter if we separate. Even the guy will say something and confirm the relationship with words instead of only actions. It will be clear and he will commit to me. Because this is God's will and He is faithful to His words. Everything I've endured this year is not for me, but for him and his growth in Christ. Although everyday I die, as in my old man, my self, but everyday I'm living by the bountiful supply of the Spirit and in the resurrection of Christ. He is the one supplying me to live my everyday life, just waiting and trusting in his timing, and believing He will work out what He desires. And since this relationship is for His purpose- He will do it.