I recently discovered this "gem" a couple days ago when doing a brief search for my myspace photos. Wow, reading all my posts back in the days made me realize how much mercy God had on me. I was so immature in my thinking, and did not have any wisdom whatsoever. However, I can offer only all the praises to the Lord for loving me, and never ever letting me go. When He sees His chosen people, He sees the most beautiful one. He sees a transformed bride, the church that can satisfy His heart's desire. When I think God chose me before the foundation of the world as a vessel of glory, and predestinated me to be part of His kingdom, I cannot but help but praise Him and thank Him for everything He has done for me. The God of Glory decided to choose me, out of all people. Looking back in time, I saw every experience that I've gone through was to transform me. To perfect me. And make me one that is more and more like Him. Even though there's been lots of ups and downs, through every experience, especially the negative experiences, He had His ways, and His ways are higher than my ways. His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. I don't want to be one to complain about my situation. No matter if I struggle, strive, or fail that day, I know that I can always come back to the blood of Jesus, and the blood cleanses me from all my sins and unrighteousness. When God sees us, He sees Christ. I can only thank you Lord and praise Him for everything He has done.
Verses I enjoyed:
"Now no discipline at the present time seems to be a matter of joy, but of grief; but afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been exercised by it." Heb 12:11
Footnote 1 (Peaceable): Peace is the fruit of righteousness. Holiness is the inward nature, whereas righteousness is the outward behavior. God's discipline helps the believers not only to partake of His holiness but also to be right with both God and man, that in such a situation of righteousness they may enjoy peace as a sweet fruit, a peaceable fruit of righteousness.
Peace is Christ Himself, and disciplines allow us to become holy as He is, and righteous, to eventually usher in peace. This reminds me of the reality of the offerings, in this order specifically.
1) Sin Offering: God becomes an offering for us when He died on the cross
2) Trespass Offering: Not only do we commit outward sins, but our being is sin itself. Our natural man is flesh, and when Adam partook of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, we were constituted with this old nature and natural man. God needed to die on the cross to put our self, natural man, flesh on the cross.
3) Meal Offering: We can partake of the Christ and His humanity- in its fine, balanced, perfect form. When we partake of Christ as the meal offering, He becomes our constituent, and His humanity becomes our humanity.
4) Peace Offering: We have peace between us and God. When we apply Him as the 3 above offerings, He is satisfied with us, and we can experience Him as peace.
5) Burnt Offering: Christ is the only one absolute for God. Lord, cause me to apply you as my burnt offering daily. That I am fully one with you for your heart's desire. That when you see me, you see Christ.
All these experiences not only have to be knowledge in letters, but become our reality through experiencing this wonderful, all inclusive Christ in our mingled spirit.
Honestly, I feel very thankful to my dear Lord Jesus for using every circumstances, situations, and breaking of my outer man for my inner man to be renewed day by day. It's been hard. It's been difficult, and exhausting, tiring, and death has been operating within me. However, those days that are the hardest, I know that I have a way out. I can hide continually in my spirit. I can hide in this wonderful Christ who died for me and resurrected for me. I am willing to apply the death of the cross in my every situation, that the resurrection power might be upon me. Although there are those days, the darkest days and hardest days of tears where I feel like Lord where are you? I need you desperately!! I can't go on without you. Even for one day if I don't gain you and grow in you, that is a wasted day. Lord! Appear to me right now. Appear to me in an intimate way. I want to continually hide in you, hide and stay in your presence.
Whenever those days come upon me, I realize, my cries out to the Lord becomes a sweetness to Him. The tears become a spring, and the early rain covers it with blessings. (Psa 84:6)
"Blessed are those who dwell in Your house; They will yet be praising You. Selah
Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, in whose heart are the highways to Zion. Passing through the valley of Baca, They make it a spring; Indeed the early rain covers it with blessings." Psa 84:4-6
My strength is in you. Lord, keep me continually dwelling in your house. I want to enter into the church as the house of God. Keep me on this eternal highway. My strength is not in myself, but my strength is in you. Cause my heart to become the highways to Zion. Strengthen me into my inner man. Thank you Lord although i pass through the valleys of Baca, all my sufferings and persecutions, You make these valleys a spring, which is the Spirit. Thank you for your Spirit that is the spring within my being. Praise you Lord for these springs. Praise you Lord for every suffering and negative situation, for me to experience the springs of the Spirit more and more.
Daily Life:
- My brother just recently visited me from Bakersfield, and spent 10 days with me in Pittsburgh. Everyday we were able to visit different sites, museums, hiking (even though I hate bugs and other creatures :P), and lots of food. i don't even know how many restaurants we went to, lost track of the number. It was nice though since he stayed with brother's house (LOL since only Jeff was there). We ate and cooked together everyday. It was a really sweet time :) -If I don't get lazy maybe I'll post photos hahaha.
- I got a job as a pharmacy customer service representative!!! The Lord is so funny, in my life I always say I will NEVER do ______, or go _________. But it ends up that's what the Lord gives me. Man, it's crazy. I said in the past, I will NEVER work at CVS, and yeah...I got a job at CVS. LOL. It's better though cuz it's a call center at CVS Specialty, so I helped people with their insurance and prior auths and stuff. The #1 thing is that I don't have to work on Sundays so I can go to Lord's table, which was something I really desperately prayed for. So the Lord knows :D
- Since I got the job, there is just an inward amen for me to stay in Pittsburgh long term, for the building up of the Body, but most importantly, for him.
Photos:
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